lean, kath, and fred.

I think I’m drunk. Or maybe this is genuine happiness as Kath would say. I can’t sleep and I don’t feel the need to. I want to remember everything that happened, every sweet smack on the shoulder, every loving pound on the back, every laughter, every giggle, every smile, everything. Damn this feels good. I wish you were just here. Always.


I can call Lean, Kath, and Fred as my inner circle, my closest friends. There is something in the seven or eight years that we’ve all been through. I can open my mouth and say the stupidest thing and I know they’ll understand (or will always try to).

Fred was once my fiercest competition. Talk about high school rankings. I admit that I misjudged him. Good thing I was enlightened right on time. Now we compete in being the bangka - the one who talks the most and opens up the bulk of the topics to be talked about. We have to make people laugh.

Kath was/is an epal. I don’t know how and why we became friends. But she was always the one who understood. She stepped aside and watched me in my most fucking state. She allowed me to be me. She came back as if nothing happened. She’s the sweetest epal I have now.

Lean is and will always be THE friend. Seven years is already something to be proud of. Seven years of highs and lows. Seven years of amazing shitnitz. Like what I told him, I think I know why we remain friends. It’s because I found me in him. He usually likes the things that I like and usually hates the things that I hate. We share the same wavelength. The only difference is that he’s more reserved and calmer than I am. He always understands and is willing to wait.


Today was the thing I needed to make my semestral break complete. I feel loved. I feel happy. I feel light. And yet I feel sad. Kath and Lean will be leaving me again soon. I once again feel afraid. But I know they’ll be back.

Until then, I’ll be missing all of you.