'cause i doubt, i fear, i hesitate.

Truth is a creation of the mind. Part of it is convincing people that you have a point; that what you hold true is true across situations; that it’s better to accept it than not to understand. 

Thus, truth is also relative. People will always believe in different things. So that what is real, a creation of combined truths, is also relative. My reality is different from yours, or we may share certain truths, so to some extent we may say, my reality is also your reality. 

But it is in this partiality that we get lost. Reality, for the most part, appears only to be real. Appears to be real, unconfirmed, left to be debunked. For this partiality, we hesitate, we get afraid, we opt to wish and hope and not do anything about it. And sometimes when I think or feel that our realities touch, know that I doubt. 

I can’t force something that seems that’s not bound to happen to be real. This is my truth, we share it, thus this is our reality. But part of this reality is that we’re also partial. And even though how much I like you, I doubt because things only appear to be real. I fear. I hesitate.

***

Fred said, “If you have a chance to take the moment that you know will be memorable, grab it. Always think that the word ‘next time’ is always too far.” 

But Issa said, “Do not ever pursue a decision when you’re having even the slightest doubt about it. Save yourself from regrets.” 

But at the same time Fred answers, “Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will.” 

And yet Issa says, “There are times that it is better to let things happen rather than to insist on how you want them to be done.”

So, I wait because of doubt, fear, and hesitation. 

***

I want to wait. But at the same time, I feel that I can’t wait for something I want so badly. And for this partiality, I doubt, I fear, I hesitate. And I feel I’m bound to get nothing, and go nowhere.