to manifest rejection.

Rejection is ordinary. You can repulse it or embrace it, but rejection would always be ordinary. And yet the sensation it leaves us, the emotion that we draw will always be alien, foreign, not ordinary.

Rejection is the body’s desire to sleep and the mind’s choice to stay awake. Rejection is being able to pull the blanket and still ending up being cold. Rejection is choosing to get out of the bed to feed a starving body. Rejection is the concoction of soda, mangoes, and an aching tummy. Rejection is the experience of choking. Rejection is the impulse to press letters on the keyboard and choosing not to sleep. Rejection is choosing not to sleep because pain haunts when eyes are shut. Rejection is the inability to drown pain in silence, in darkness, in peace. Rejection is believing that this is no longer about you, but the internal rejection to process and place everything in right slots to fill gaps, to understand.

And so my thought stops and gags just to say I feel rejected in ways I can’t explain. In the same way that you can’t probably understand the point of this text because this, in itself, is a form of rejection.