kapag ibig.

I’m never bothered with the fact that I haven’t committed myself in a formal, lasting relationship. For one, I never liked the idea of them taking total control over me. I don’t want to be stalked. I don’t want to be asked every morning, noon, night (excluding in betweens) if I’m ok or I have eaten already. My parents raised me to be independent. I have learned to take care of myself and I think I can do it better than everybody else (parents do it best, of course). But since a lot of people started bugging me about this idea, let’s talk about it.

I am not afraid of commitments. What I am afraid of is not being able to fulfill what I signed up for. When things get closer, I know it’s time to let go. I find it weird that I hate the idea of my affection being reciprocated equally – imbalance must exist for us to achieve balance. I give more, you give less and vice versa. When one can’t give more than the other, then it’s also the time to let go.

It’s funny (and a little grotesque) that my email inbox is joining the bandwagon to stimulate the idea of romantic relationships.

And of course, expect friends who will send you quotes like these:

totoo naman di ba?

One more thing, the idea of courting. Well, I know that some people think it’s important but, can we cut ourselves some slack? Let’s get to know each other minus the cheesy, chummy thingy that comes with the package. It’s better, I think, trust me.

But when you’re surrounded with people that are committed, one can’t help but to contemplate (notice the choice of words) on the things that might have happened if you gave in. I know a romantic relationship also comes with perks. Sabi ko nga, for the sake of experience, the first one to court me or the first one to tell me that they’re willing to try a relationship with me would get me easily. But, I know! How … creative and imaginative of me. A friend also sent me a quote about this one. It says:

Indeed, love is not a status. I’m always in love and I don’t need a label for it to be affirmed. That’s my reality. Pag-ibig nga eh. Gets? ‘Pag … ibig. Kapag ibig. Therefore, it’s a choice. Besides, my throat hurts enough to cause a diversion on such issues. Ang labo.