when leaves are unfair.

It’s been raining hard for the past few days. Last night, I think, was the strongest. The gust made the rain look like waves hitting the concrete. On the way home, a few of the signage on the road already tipped over. There was violence in the atmosphere.

But it seemed too ironic that regardless of the rain’s strength, a few spots of earth seemed untouched. These spots weren’t totally covered; just enough to keep them pretty dry.

An Indian tree stands beside our gate. Silly how even if the soil beneath is party cracking, the heavy rain wasn’t able to reach it fully. The weeds beneath needed those drops.

The earth beneath the tree remained damp. The weeds needed those drops. If only the weeds can wish for more, I bet it would wish for those heavy drops. Besides, even pests have wishes, even pests lives to wish.

But weeds will always be plants; plants with roots; and roots that disables them to move. That even if these pests needed those drops, circumstances dictate that they will have to wait for the rain to reach them.

I thought the rain was at its strongest. But why then wasn’t it able to drown the spot beneath our tree? Maybe we can blame the tree’s leaves. Perhaps they wanted the weeds to die. If only these leaves showed a little consideration, perhaps the weeds would finally experience those drops.

But why then would Nature have to dictate how these weeds will die? Or why then would the tree’s leaves agree to conspire? We chose not to pull those pests ‘cause we know they can not cause much harm. They still deserve to live.

But I think the weeds are dying soon. The sun peeked today. That only means heat, that only means being dry. But I think that those weeds are still struggling to live. They have the dark skies as a reason to optimistic. Besides, dark skies can mean heavier rain.

If finally the sky decides to break and pour, I wish that it’ll be strong enough. Those weeds can’t move. Those heavy drops should reach them soon. But if those weeds die before the rain, I still wish that the sky would still break and pour. At least, I’ll know that maybe it wasn’t the rain’s fault. The tree’s leaves were just unfair.

trahedya ng dalawang manggagawa.

Mahirap ang trabaho nung manong na nagtitinda ng yosi at kendi sa tabi ng kalsada. Bilad sa ulan at araw, tanging suot ay ang pudpod na tsinelas, shorts, at tshirt na kupas. Pwede namang umupo. Pero kasi mas makakabenta kung hahayaang ugatin at pamamanhirin ang mga binti sa pagtindig buong araw hanggang gabi. Bawal ang payong dahil sagabal, asa ka pang may pambili s’ya ng kapote. Tiis, tiis nalang. 

Ang mahirap pa d’yan, sa libu-libong sasakyan sa kalsada, ilan ba ang nag-yoyosi? Ilan ba ang bibili, kahit isang pirasong kendi? Hindi natin alam. Kailangan lang umasa nung manong na sa pagtapat n’ya sa isang driver, aabutin nito yung yosi o kendi at mag-aabot ng baryang mamiso bilang bayad. Kung hindi, sorry nalang. Susubukan nalang ulit sa susunod na sasakyan.

Yung nagbebenta ng balut sa kanto, hindi nga nakatayo, buong gabi namang naka-upo. Wala kasi s’yang bisekleta, at kung may bisekleta man s’ya, masyado na rin s’yang matanda para umikot-ikot at sumigaw para ialok ang kanyang mga paninda. Minsan, masyadong malamig ang gabi. Bukod sa suot n’yang damit, siguro sapat na yung di-kerosene n’yang ilaw para magbigay ng konting init. At ang pinakamahirap sa lahat, bawal matulog at wala ka pang makausap.

Oo nga, nakapwesto nga s’ya kung saan marami ang tao. Pero siguro, kakaunti nalang ang interesado kumain ng balut, penoy, o kahit yung chicharon n’yang tila palamuti na nakatali sa basket. Hindi rin naman pwedeng magpa-free taste, o mang-alok ng balut sa kung anu-anong paraan. Kung hindi bibili yung taong natapat sa’yo, aasa nalang na yung kasunod ay may balak kahit papaano.

Iisa lang naman ang gusto ng dalawang karakter na ‘to. Gusto nilang kumita ng pera. Kung bakit, hindi na natin kailangan malaman. Pero iisa lang din ang trahedya ng kanilang piniling paraan para kumita. Parehas nilang kailangan maghintay at umasa. Hindi kasi pwedeng masyadong mapilit. Baka naman ‘pag nabadtip sa manong yung driver ay mura-murahin pa n’ya ‘to o kaya naman sagasaan. Bawal rin naman mambwisit ng mga taong dumadaan dahil gusto mong makabenta ng balut, ibato pa nila yan sa mukha mo kung nagkataon.

Pero hindi ibig sabihin nun na aasa ka nalang habangbuhay. Eh kung ganun lang din, sana namalimos ka nalang. Tulad ni manong, dapat tuloy pa rin ang pag-aalok. Pero syempre dapat swabe lang. At kung naka-upo ka lang din naman, sigaw ka rin ng kaunti para naman malaman ng mga tao na nagtitinda ka ng balut. 

Walang nangyayari sa simpleng pag-asa. Alam mo yung dahilan kung bakit ka nagbenta ng yosi, kendi, balut, penoy, o chicharon. Kailangan mo kumilos, kailangan mong gumawa ng paraan. Oo, totoo. Minsan nakakatakot ng bahagya maging mapilit. Pero mas matakot ka kung sa bandang huli wala kang napala.  

of the luzon intervarsity tourney.

Representing UP Diliman in a tournament felt so good. Parang, [insert expletive] UP Diliman ‘to, pare. Except that I don’t really say ‘pare’ in real life. Pero gets? You’ll get so pumped up that you’ll feel you can do anything at that point (of course, except for that seemingly impossible take home exam you brought as a symbolism of your dedication as a student).

Looking back, we did a lot of weird things. Say for example, upon arriving at the convening room, we hugged each other. Then when the first motion was given, we all hugged for good luck. After the round, we hugged again either for a) the success b) for the fucked up round. Then when teams forwarded to the next round, we hugged. And when a team falls, we hugged too. The cycle went on and on. Dumating nga sa point na “pwede wag na muna mag-hug?” Kasi naman. Sa sobrang hug, parang hindi ko na ma-appreciate. Simple desensitization. Sorry na, k?

People got frustrated, some felt good about themselves, issues grew for whatever reasons, but hell, who cares? We were out there to kill and the moment we joined that tourney, we knew we can be casualties of our own contingent. It was all worth it.

It’s amazing that you have friends as the Best Rookie Team (JC girl and Trixia), your org’s applicants performing really well compared to other institutions (JC boy and Ben), and whole contingent who did its best for a full contingent break for a shot at championship (Sabi nga ni AnaRod, “this is becoming a trend.” Sana nga maging trend na forevah.).

I’m happy for myself (parang ang pathetic pakinggan) and for Mikee too. People can always say that we got eliminated eventually and that’s sad. But being eliminated in the Octos isn’t that bad – that’s a round away from the Semis. 

The whole tourney was really a “learning experience” (Arcellana, Infinity). I just “loooooove it” (Avila, 2008). Say hello to Tin from UPLB, to Toni, Paula, Kaiyze (?), and Morris from UST, to Clarissa and Keith from UPM, to our Argumentum friends from UPB, to Victor from DLSU, and so on and on. I love the debate community. And yes that includes *toooot* and *straight* who probably *straight* needs chemical castration [does the ever funny arm-torso movement].

I’m looking for more tourneys ahead. I want to reach the Finals. CHOS, hindi naman masama. Sabi nga ni Emily Shakelton at David Cook, “if you don’t dream big, what’s the use of dreaming?” We all need to reach out for something more. 

But for now, I’m back to being a simple student trying to finish each and every requirement (yes, I did manage to finish the take home exam I brought to the tourney). Watch out for us, Marc Siapno (probably plus, Mikee Sevilla again) or [insert name here]. But for each and every tourney ahead, sabi nga ni Michael Jackson, “where there is love, I’ll be there.” Promise.