choices.

I chose to be the private. The only phase that they knew of was post-break up – when things got so heavy, and I just couldn’t keep it anymore. I knew that I was just waiting for it happen. I was waiting to give up, to break down. And that’s it. It happened.

Things are now back to normal. We’re friends. That’s also something that I chose. Am I happy about it? Maybe. But honestly, I just don’t care. I already gave too much. It’s about time to make “better” choices.

Now, I still choose to be private. But things don’t always go as planned. Privacies break, things leak, and they eventually become part of it. 

Everything becomes so different when you already mapped out your plans, and convinced yourself that this will be it, then, all of a sudden, a shift in circumstance. It disturbs me. But when much rationality is not needed, how can you think on your feet so you can adjust?

Choices always require two paths at the barest minimum – the perceived ideal and the way out. It’s too tempting to take the other way when it’s always an option. But I’m still taking the path I chose from the start. (Or maybe I should have ended that previous sentence with a question mark instead). 

It’s so hard to stand for a decision, especially when you constantly pressure yourself of thinking of the best option. In the end, you just don’t want to get hurt.

But yeah, I’m choosing you. But this time, I think I need to sacrifice a little privacy.